Returning to Normal

I still don't understand things. I still have trouble being in America. In fact, I hate it half of the time, but I'm beginning to understand some things, and it is getting easier.

One of the hardest things has been to return to the life I knew, to return to the things I had planned, and realize that those things hold half the importance that they once did.

I've always thought about how there are people starving in the world. It is something that would flit across my brain, would stay in the center of my thoughts for a minute, and then would disappear as quickly as it had come. It's different now though. It's not something that occurs to me every once in a while, but instead quite often. It is no longer an image of an emaciated child with no face, but instead the face of a child I can see, clear as day. The children I saw on the streets there, the eyes that begged for anything to make their life better. I can no longer ignore the fact that there are hurting children throughout the world; those children now have faces; they now have names.

I have prayed and prayed, not knowing what I can do, but only knowing that I must do something, anything. I hope that God will lead me in the right direction, that sometime in the future, he has something planned for me that will help change those horrid facts.