freedom is a misconception

It has been quite some time since I have written, and honestly that's because I have been so incredibly busy. College has definitely been an adventure already. I must say, I like college. I do. But I feel there is a common misconception about college.

Before leaving home, students always say "I just can't wait for the freedom". I've even had people ask me about how it feels to be on my own, how all the freedom feels. If you're a future college student, standing in your kitchen, talking about this, I promise you are bound to be disappointed. Because all that freedom you anticipate feeling, it doesn't come from college.
My youth pastor said something the other day that really hit home with me.

"College does not give you freedom" -Ryan Moore

And while he meant it in a religious way, I cannot help but apply this to every aspect of my life. Because it's true. College does not give you freedom. Yes, I don't have my mom nagging me about homework or my dad telling me to wash the dishes. I don't have to ask before I go to the bathroom and if I want to skip class or go to a friend's, I can. So sure, college gives you that kind of freedom, but in the end, we are all slaves to ourselves. In our world, our hearts know only one way to live, and we are the only ones that can change that. That's why you can promise yourself a thousand times that you won't procrastinate that paper, that you'll reach out to that lonely guy you see everyday, that you'll join a club or start actually doing something worthwhile, and then......you don't. Because you haven't changed your heart, and so you just follow along even when you say you'll change. 

And along that note, college doesn't change you either. Advice given to future college students can often be summed up in two generic statements: "Oh, don't let college change you" and "college changes people" but that's just not true. 

College does not give freedom, nor does it change you. People change people. It's that simple. If you want to change, it all comes down to you. Only you can change yourself. Introduce your heart to a new way of living. If you want to be a different person, if you want to be kinder or braver, start with your heart. I'm not the first person to say this, nor will I be the last. But that's because it is so very true. 

We have to stop relying on this idea of 'college' changing us, of college giving us freedom from our past selves. Stop thinking that by entering a university and living in a dorm, your life will magically be reformed. It won't. You will be the exact same person just living in a tiny room, wanting to kill your roommate half the time, and stressing about all the homework you have to do. Changing your position on the world's axis doesn't change who you are. 

Freedom from who you used to be starts at the beginning. It starts with you. 



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